....or maybe I should title this "The Anatomy of a Break-Up" LOL! What do you think? Oh g-d, dare I ask such a question?
I woke up this morning not knowing what was going on. The alarm went off but where was my morning light? I don't remember hearing it was going to be cloudy today. In fact I did catch the news last night. We're expected to be close to triple digits again this week.
Almost tripping over Maica, I opened the curtains and the sun was barely making it's way over Squaw Peak. There was my morning sunshine. Oh yes, autumn's shorter days have truly arrived.
Turning off the light and going to sleep was hard last night. I had to let Sunday go and get back to the real world of grades and art and school. My Monday mornings are actually something to look forward to. I have a long prep on Mondays. It gives me the time I need to be back at work and transition into school mode.
This morning was going to be tough. The routine has been like this-the Chicklet gets dropped off, I make my way away from school traffic. Once at the stop light, my phone usually comes out and the BF and I would chat until I arrived at work. No phone today. Not even sure where it is...
One of my first thoughts this morning was the realization that the phone call I've been waiting for isn't "Baby, I made a mistake, I want you back." Nope, the phone call I'm waiting for is, "Marissa, I made a mistake by not respecting you enough to tell you my news face to face. I'm sorry, you deserve better." Neither call is coming anytime soon. When it does come, it'll be too late.
We have unfinished business. You can't just break up with someone out of the blue by texting them the news and then disappear. I hate loose ends. So today I felt the void but I'm also feeling the frustration. I want some closure. There won't be any. In the face of conflict or confrontation his M.O. is to run for the hills. What a woos! No, let's really say what I mean. He's a coward. I'm going to have to look under the bed and see if he left his balls there. The worst thing a person can do is lose my respect. He's done it.I'm sure some of you were waiting for me to get pissed off finally. Yeah, I'm there. The tears came today too. I was with my friends on Saturday but my first reaction to the news was to get my walls up.
Work is my second home. Many of my co-workers are like my family. Through the last 14 years we've shared the highest highs and the lowest lows and everything in between. After my beeline for my morning cup of coffee, my next stop was the Music Room. Thank you g-d for Music Teacher Extraordinaire, Kelly H! What I fear to say to myself, I can share with Kelly.
Coach G. and I shared some choice comments. She made no judgements. In the scheme of things we know this isn't much more than a blip but she said "I'm sorry you're going through this." It's amazing the power of those few words.I promised The Chicklet I would take her to the book release of the latest in the "Dairy of a Wimpy Kid" series. Ms. Dwana and I headed out to the parking lot at the same time. She asked how I was doing. I said, "just fine." She started digging because according to her, I wasn't. I thought I was doing just fine. I wasn't? It showed?
Ms. Dwana and I had one of our parking lot conversations. This is where our paths meet and we can let our hair down. Oh my g-d, I love her! We often talk among eruptions of hilarious laughter. Today was no different. Turns out she hadn't been updated on the latest with Aqua Man and his late night texts from a few months ago. More eruptions of laughter. Men and their texts....What gives?I leave home, to go home. I am surrounded by Sisterhood. I am so truly fortunate that way.
Took the pics outside of Peggy's house in Prescott Valley on Saturday. The pampas grass was such a big ball of fluffy fuzz. Fun!