Monday, May 12, 2008
I've mentioned that I was having a tough time getting inspired last week and was in a funk. The nearing of Mother's Day can do that. My Mom passed away suddenly close to 4 years ago. Although I am at peace with her absence, I miss her very much. My parents were in L.A. and we're in Arizona but we maintained a close relationship by phone and frequent visits. She was my biggest supporter and one of two people who I really felt understood what made me tick. Although I'm a mom, Mother's Day was about Mom.
I didn't write in my journal most of last week. It's usually the last thing I do before turning off the light and going to sleep. Last night I wrote the date down and then it hit me. It was the anniversary of my brother's death. Sorry to be so morbid but it's a fact of life in our family.
Sat., May 7, 1977, my older brother was injured in a car accident and died the next day, Mother's Day. That event had a huge impact on everyone in our family from then on. It became the pivotal event in my life.
Hadn't even thought about his anniversary this past week. He did come up in a conversation with some co-workers when we talked about the lack of seatbelt use amongst our students. It makes me cringe!
Last night the whole "funk" thing made sense. Do we have some internal clock or subconscious memory that brings this up from the deep down somewhere?
Don't know if the planets have aligned but had a phone call from my sister a little while ago. This year I think we all chose to ignore mother's day but it's there...the big elephant sitting in the living room, reading the Sunday paper, munching on the last tortilla and frijoles in the house.
Today felt so much lighter than yesterday.